Vibe: Feeling like you need to know and do it all.
This Week's Mantra:
I do not need to do or know everything.
I need to recognize patterns, eliminate the nonsense,
and choose the best next move for me,
and read the damn label TWICE.
This mantra is a reminder that competence does not require perfect certainty.
Most of the time, we do not need every single detail before we act.
We need to slow down enough to notice what kind of situation we are in, how we feel inside, what information actually matters, and who it matters for. We also need to ignore panic-brained assumptions and distractions.
And then, we need to make the NEXT best reasonable decision.
The reasonable decision for ourselves.
Recognizing patterns.
What does that mean?
Well... looking for the familiar. Asking yourself, "Have I seen a situation like this in the past?", "Does this remind me of something?", "What shape is the problem?", and "Where are the goddamn trees!?" (Maybe check the forest.).
Eliminating the nonsense involves clearing away extra noise and clutter clogging up your senses, doing away with the unnecessary obligations, undue and unneeded pressures such as perfectionism, divesting yourself of absolutisms or half-truths, and getting rid of anything that makes the situation at hand, the moment that is now or tomorrow, bigger or more confusing than it already is.
An example- You're a very exhausted mother of a tween and teen, an artist, an educator at a middle school, and you are constantly feuding with your very dramatic body, AND you have two cats. Do NOT go rescue a cat off of your porch, Just don't.* That would NOT be your next step. Got it? Yes? Cool.
*If you have already made this decision just know- that I understand.
Choosing the next best move.
This is basically you giving yourself permission to not solve your entire fucking future right this instant. You just have to decide what action makes sense right now. Does that require exercising some prioritizing? Yep. Is that a huge energy tax for some of us? Yeah. Make one of your buddies do more than just bitch about their day at work to you. It's okay. Take up space. Get them to do the damn dishes for the night and sit your butt down, be horizontal, stick your legs up a wall... whatever makes you comfortable. And have a think, a write, a conversation if you have a victim, and decide- What is more important?
Examples of "right now" type decisions for you to view:
Folding your laundry or completing your exam review...
Petting that kitty until he says stahp or eating life-sustaining food for the first time in 10 hours
(who does a thing like forget to eat?)...
Watching neighborhood drama
unfold from your porch or reading that book Darcy wrote about ADHD...
Fuuuuuck, I don't remember the title.*
And YES! Read the label twice, thrice if you must! Carry the damn label with you to the store if you must. Take a pic if you have such a device to do so.
Sometimes the problem is not about intelligence or how "smart" we are. It isn't always about effort, attitude, or preparation.
Sometimes we move too quickly. We skip a key word or detail, click the wrong thing, misread the time zone for the proctored online exam that may, or may not, be in an hour and 10 minutes- or in 10 minutes. XoX
Maybe we just assumed we understood the instructions.
The second read is not a failure. The 35th review before the exam doesn't mean you don't already know the material. (But also, remember we talked about prioritizing... 35 reviews is anxiety. Seek your school counselor. Or whoever, I don't know your life.)
Moral of the rambling: Double check things. That's your safety rail. But don't do it while you're hyperventilating. Go get some cold water, an ice pack, a cool breeze, cold shower (do you see the pattern?), whatever, take some slow evenly spaced breaths, and when you inhale squeeze your butt-cheeks. Release slowly and exhale.
This mantra is about staying grounded, reducing friction, and trusting in yourself to work through life's pop-up windows and side-quests one simple step at a time.
Goodnight, my dear future readers and passers-by.